You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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