I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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