i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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