so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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