the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You can't motorboat a personality
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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