is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
