well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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