you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
