was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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