Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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