she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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