'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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