Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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