it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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