How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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