How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
