school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
