If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
they're like a gay fantastic four
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
