Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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