Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
