I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
