Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
