We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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