i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
