There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
