There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
