im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My hand turned me down
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
