Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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