I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
