Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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