girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
