Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
