Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we're so committed to being not committed
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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