im gay
i know
yea but for you.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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