I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There r osticjed everywhere
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
