Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize