Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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