My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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