woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
