Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
