she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How does one acquire holy water?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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