jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
