I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
