Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
