he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
