3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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