Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize