Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
