Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
