i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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