just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
