question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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