Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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