margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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